What About Your Friends?

“Every now and then I get a little crazy, That’s not the way it’s supposed to be, Sometimes my vision is a little hazy, I can’t tell who I should trust or just who I let trust me”, remember these words? The 1992 hit song, “What about your friends” echoes a very honest song that still reflects the sentiments of many individuals in their current social, work and even intimate relationships. What about your friends? This thing that I connected with most in this is that it’s not always who you trust, but also who you let trust you. That’s something to think about.

Over time, many words have evolved and taken on new definitions as time passed. The word ‘Friend’ is no exception at all. If you factor in the influence of social media and the function of the word “friend”, depending on which era you’re from or your life experience, your interpretation may slightly or vastly differ. My aim here today is to really share what I see happening with today’s use and value of not only the word friend but also the people that we label as such.

Growing up, a friend was that one person that you were one hundred percent yourself around. The one that your family would automatically let inside the house when they answered the door and saw who it was. I remember days when my childhood friends and I would just sit on the front porch and talk about life, the future, food, girls and other random things- the time seemed endless; the goals seemed far fetched. We played together and had fun but when we had our differences we someone how just let it go and moved on. This was that kind of bond that I knew friends to have growing up- the kind of bond that people could see without any explanation. The kind of feeling that said, it doesn’t matter what we’re doing together, I’m glad that were cool doing it together. If you were my friend and my mom knew you, it would buy me at least an extra half hour outside to play or talk. Being a friend carried some weight.

Today, I can’t say what the hell is going on. Maybe, being older makes you see life through a different lens. You go through the ups and downs of life, lose some people and then things change. Although, I still feel the same way I felt as a young boy. I feel like friends should have that bond that makes you feel like you have someone in this life that you can trust with your secrets but also with the truest version of yourself. We all should be able to clearly define who we can trust and who we should let trust us.

In relationships there’s also a lacking of the friendship element. Someone once told me that it is wise to build a friendship with someone before you build an intimate relationship with them – I never forgot that. A friendship at the foundation of a relationship makes the hard times easier to deal with and the relationship more enjoyable. If I can insult you and you still love me, that makes me love you more. If we can sit and laugh about every and anything that adds peace to the mind of a man. The scary situations arise when one side feels like the sole goal of your partner should be to please and satisfy you. I mention this because friends usually share experiences without the power struggle that happens nowadays. There’s a respect and understanding for each other that balances things out. If you show me an imbalanced relationship/friendship, I’ll find the weak spot that’s usually a doorway for someone else to creep in and destroy your relationship. Don’t be selfish.

Today, it’s so easy to find situations where people can be diehard enemies in real life but still “friends” on social media. The irony there is as thick as molasses. To me it can almost feel like a downgrade to simply be called someone’s friend. There’s a demand for more definition. The word has taken on a new meaning because there are so many twists that come along with the definition. The biggest twist in my book is the twist that happens when people are loyal to a friend but the other friend never reciprocates. The foundation of friendship is loyalty. Bonnie and Clyde must have taken their spirit with them when they jumped the cliff.

Even deeper, I’ve seen friends be more honest and open with strangers than the person they actually know. It boggles my mind! Which tells me that there’s a spiritual connection with true friends. Nowadays you have to define the kind of friend someone is to you in order for you to have a clear vision of your relationships/friendships. Do you have good friends, best friends, bad friends, or true friends? Whatever you do, define your friends. I bet it would give you a reality check.

GerardBrown-DorlingKindersley-GettyImages-87854683-56a26b545f9b58b7d0ca074cPersonally, I can sometimes come off as quiet to people that I don’t know. Reason being, I never get comfortable around people that I don’t trust- issa habit. If you ask me, I feel like the title of friend should be earned. Trust should be earned. Most of the time I’m the cool guy that’s very in control of himself but there’s this internal nose that I believe we all have and should use to sniff people out. Dog’s even sniff you out to learn about you. Our methods may be a little more civilized but I’ve seen too many gullible people calling others their friend that really could care less about them. This is for people like that.  Although, I know some people with different beacons, you may be the type that trust people first and then let them should you that they can or can’t be trusted.

As I refer back to TLC’s song, I want to ask a few questions, “What about your friends?Will they stand their ground? Will they let you down again? What about your friends, are they gonna be low down? Will they ever be around or will they turn their backs on you? “.  the great Jim Rohn once said that we are a total composite of 5 of our closest friends. That means if you average your five closest friends , you would get you.

Make sure the people that you spend most of your time with have your best interest at heart. Sniff out people before you trust them or let them trust you. Be the kind of friend that you want others to be to you. Even Jesus came down from heaven to spend time with man to connect with us as people. Some times we have to come off of those high horses and step into someone else’s world to see where they’re coming from. If your friend can’t do that then you didn’t sniff properly.What kind of friends do you have? Even importantly, what kind of friend are you? Let’s be better friends.

Adrian Wildgoose

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